A letter to the ladies,

What is it that makes you lose yourself over a man that has never shown you even an ounce of respect? How on gods green earth did you let someone else take charge of your own happiness? What is that damn hold they posses over you? And most of all, why can't you seem to let go? These are all questions you may never know the answers to. So stop searching and start living. A lesson hurts before it teaches. I believe this more than anything. But how long until you've learned your lesson? It can feel like forever and a day that you're hurting but remind yourself that it is part of your journey and will ultimately help to shape the person you are. Find the silver lining. Be glad that you've got this valuable lesson under your belt, you'll carry it with you throughout your entire life. Just make sure you hold on tight to it, don't forget it, after all, you've suffered enough to learn your lesson. It's going to help you avoid making the same mistake twice. It's precious. 

Maybe your judgement was clouded so that you were blind to the wrong way he treated you? Or maybe, like me you weren't blind. You knew exactly what was happening, your brain was tuned in, your mind was wide awake. But you let him hurt you anyways. The one bad guy that can do no wrong in your eyes, gets a million chances plus one. But when does that realisation happen? When does the penny drop? How do you finally learn to accept that you do not deserve anything less than real, passionate, chaotic, crazy love. Everybody deserves to be loved, to be made feel beyond special so don't let anybody tell you otherwise. Have faith, you're time is coming, if it hasn't already. 

Dig a little deeper, make yourself aware! Look on to your situation with an outsiders point of view and think of the things you would say to the girl standing before you as you try to shake some sense into her. If a guy does not show you he cares, makes you feel loved, then there is a reason for it. The reason being, he doesn't care and he certainly doesn't love you either. That hurts to hear, I know that. But it does get better, there is a light at the end of the dark tunnel. Words can be easily rolled off the tongue but it's through actions you'll know where you stand with a person without having to question it. Wise up! Know your worth. If someone is not making you truly happy then why waste your time? Somewhere out there, there's someone deserving of you even if that's a little hard to believe. But for now, YOU be the only person you need to be content in life and let the rest fall softly into place. 

Take your own advise. Remember the times you told your best friend he was no good because of all the nasty things he did?! Give yourself that very same talk! Search high and low for the strength to accept what is and move on. God knows it's hard when your head and heart are at war but forget about both and trust your gut. Let your intuition guide you. If you feel things aren't right and you know that he's no good for you, then more than likely that's the truth. And yes, the truth hurts. But hurt does not last forever, not if you take control of your feelings and your own happiness. Sadness, anger, resentment and pain are all temporary feelings that only you have the power to change. Remember that!! Take charge of your emotions and encourage the good ones to multiply. It's okay to feel sad. Sadness is a part of life, something we all feel at one time or another. Accept sadness into your life because after all you would not know what happiness felt like unless you felt sadness too. This feeling is there for a reason and sometimes we forget that. I can throw my hands up in the air and admit I often forget that in order to feel the good emotions, really feel them, we need to experience the bad ones too. 

Focus on you. Don't dwell on the negative things that will only get you down. Make a list of all the great things in your life, count your blessings. And after you make that list, make another. Make a list the length of your arm about all the things you love about YOU. Fall in love with the girl you are. Fill yourself up so much with love that it overflows into your whole life. That there's simply no room for anything else but this powerful feeling. Let life surprise you. Do things you would never imagine yourself doing and watch how much you grow. Great things never come from comfort zones so have a little more belief in yourself and enjoy this time while you have it.

Love like an illness, takes time to sweat out. That means things are going to get better just have the patience and stop the doubt. Time is a healer they say which sometimes can feel like a hopeless phrase when all you want to do is fast forward to a time when you feel normal again. To feel as though you are the most important person there is, that you are number one. Start putting yourself first and don't feel guilty for doing so. Do not depend on another person to supply you with the happiness that you can create from within. Talk! Talk so much you run out of words to say. It helps, believe me. Expect the bad days and the ones even worse than those. Heartache and pain are feelings that are not uncommon amongst us all. So remember, you are not alone, no matter how much it may feel that way. Surround yourself with those who matter and forget about all the rest. Nurture your soul and ask yourself what brings you joy? What truly makes you happy? And then do that, do lots of whatever that is. 

In time you'll be amazed at how free you feel without the suffocating feeling that smothered you for too long. Fall so hard out of love that you can't look back even if you tried to. I mean trip yourself up if you have to, but just fall so incredibly hard out of love, out of all those feelings that have had you feeling trapped and hopeless for god knows how long. Get it in to your head that you are worth so much more than what you settled for the last time. Wait until you find someone who worships the ground you walk on and you'll worship them every inch in return. When you find that someone you won't need to question what you have because it will just happen naturally. It will happen with magic and you'll thank that one bad guy for letting you slip away to fall into someone else's worthy arms. I myself need to practice what I preach more often than I do but please just take my advise anyways, this is my letter to you. 

"If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain"

Ashley x